September has arrived!
Which can only mean one thing…. Autumn, closely followed by winter. Who is already groaning, rolling their eyes or feeling an impending sense of doom about the changing seasons?
But what is it about the upcoming seasons that make people feel so full of doom and gloom? Is it the dark nights? Is it the cold days? Snow? Is it the going to work and getting home in the dark? ….. No. It’s not.
Is it something that’s wrong with your brain? Is it a medical disorder? Maybe a sun lamp will help? Tablets?….. Also no.
It is NOT the seasons, or the weather, or the dark that makes people miserable about this time of year. It is much more simple than that…. it is the thoughts and beliefs that we create and maintain about them.
Let me explain.
If this time of year was truly awful, then everyone would feel the same way. We would all hibernate and not be able to function until the sun showed it’s face again next spring. But the fact of the matter is that we can all still be perfectly happy over autumn and winter! I’m sure you can think of a time when you have had a wonderful time during these seasons! The only time that we actually feel miserable about it, is when we are thinking miserable thoughts about it!
The weather does not have any say over how you are feeling today. You also have no say over what the weather is doing today either. However, you do have a say in how you feel about it. If you are going to moan, sulk and complain about how awful it is and how much you hate it, then of you course your feelings are going to mirror this.
As I said earlier, we know that the seasons aren’t responsible for the way you feel because of how other people respond. If the event was truly to blame for your feelings, then everyone would feel the same! But some people LOVE autumn and winter! The beautiful colours on the trees, kicking the leaves up and crunching them under foot, snuggling up under a blanket with a hot chocolate to watch a film! So it can’t possibly be the seasons that are to blame!
Then what is it?
Our feelings are created by our thoughts. Our thoughts are created by our beliefs. If you believe that Winter is cold and miserable and horrible then you are likely to create thoughts that fit this belief and these determine our feelings. If on the other hand you believe that Autumn and Winter are beautiful seasons that are happy and fun, the thoughts and feelings that will follow will be much more helpful and positive.
But I can’t do anything about that!
It’s not my fault! How am I supposed to change that?! I hear you say…
Well, beliefs are easy to change. Our way of thinking is just a habit that we very rarely challenge. We are so tied into our beliefs that we never stop to wonder if we may have got it wrong. We never actually listen to our thoughts and see if we can make them more helpful. But if you suddenly notice that moaning, complaining voice in the back of your head try questioning it!
Is it really as bad as I’m making out? Does it REALLY make me miserable? What about last weekend when I met up with my friends for a hot chocolate – that was quite nice actually and I felt great! The more you challenge it and look for other evidence that might prove your belief wrong, the more your helpful beliefs will develop and grow.
What if I need help with challenging my thoughts and beliefs?
This is one of the cornerstones of The Thrive Programme! No one is born with a whole set of helpful beliefs that makes them happy, confident and thriving all of the time, it is something that is learned and developed. ANYONE can learn to challenge and change beliefs, which can lead to them creating more helpful thoughts and more positive feelings! If you would like help and support then please get in touch to book a free 30 – 60 minute consultation email@example.com